Sunday, June 19, 2011

A Glimpse Of "At Home with Loretta's" Column

  Some are new to this blog and for that reason may not know of my newspaper column, At Home with Loretta. This column lead me to the creation of the two blog where I share with you from time to time, the actually copy for my column.
  This particular column drew quite a response from our readers, and I'd like to share it with you. Please feel free to let me know your views on the subject. I welcome the feedback. It is from the category: Young People, entitled:   Youths...Their Demand for Respect
  "Why did you do it?" A detective asked the 15 year old. "Because he disrespected me! You don't git up in my face like that disrespecting me like that".  The youth replied vehemently. The detective was quoted later as saying, "That boy had no remorse about taking his classmates life!"
    What is the reason behind youths demanding respect from others? What type of respect are they demanding, is it a street type where he is trying to make a name for himself, or a position he's trying to gain on the street? Or, is it a genuine respect...not wanting to be ignores or, for those making light of his feelings?
    Young folk, it is a fact; unfair you might say, but true. People do not give youths the same respect as adults! It is a fact of life one must accept...I did, your parents did, and so did many others. If you've made a bad name for yourself among your peers and others, adults think of you as "rebellious", "irresponsible", or just downright "crazy".
   The taking of a person's life doesn't get you respect...if anything, it lands you in prison for the rest of your natural life. So, what must you do to get respect? Respect, my friends, is something to be earned! You must first realize that respect is not something bestowed upon you simply because you want it, nor can you "make" someone respect you! Yes, if you want it, then you give it! But first, you need to respect yourself!
   You can not go through life lying, bending the truth; cruelly teasing...making other people the butt of your jokes, bossying and bullying, or not having any natural feelings for others, especially your own parents and family! Because you will surely undermine what little respest these folks had for you.
   In case you aren't aware of this fact, just as you are fighting hard demanding your respect in your way, there are a lot more fighting just as hard not only for respect for themselves, but wanting to give their respect to others. This is simply because they realize this is the right way to be esteemed by others!
   Youths, your way of trying to get others to respect you will never be the right way...what you are trying to achive in the streets is senseless, and only leads to loss and heartbreaking results!  It is the person who loves, and respect himself and others that counts and what you should want to achieve within your heart.
   Don't ruin your lives by demanding of others what's simply not there. Rather, gain the proper respect from others by conducting yourselves in a manner that commands respect. Young people, "Rejoice in your youth" (Ecclesiastes 11:9).
   How or what do you feel, as parents, etc., about this subject? Let us know.


  1. Your column is very good. This is a very nice blog and I'm following it too. I look forward to reading more of the columns. Congrats on having two blogs ;-)

  2. Loretta, I find more disrespect amongst younger generations ... unblievable. They are not taught respect in their homes, or it would be instilled in them ...

    The youth of today 'take', I do not see 'givers' like we used to be in our time. They demand, rather than work for. They expect, rather than appreciate.

    It so saddens me to watch all these children in this fast world of electronics, fast foods & too many social events ... to not know the family based gathering for dinner at a table with siblings & parents, praying grace before each meal.

    It stresses me to not see a family unit as we knew it in our time. We all worked together, like it or not ... without bellyaching. Now you can't get them to lift a finger without demanding payment or rewards in return.

    Children nowadays think nothing of 'getting in your face' ... at any age.

    I'll step down off my soap box now ...
    TY for allowing me my voice.
    TTFN ~

  3. Great article, Loretta! I just read Marydon's comment before mine and she said what I was going to say: Some of today's kids demand respect because they haven't gotten it in their own homes. I know that no matter how little my son was, I respected him. I never tried to belittle him or put him down. And he was taught to respect me and other adults and children. I feel that today's kids that get in trouble are just disregarded by their parents, not "seen" as a person even, hence their bitterness and anger at society. Yes, I think it all starts in the home. My heart goes out to these kids who will take another's life. They weren't taught the right thing to do... who can blame them? But we cannot just let them go and "feel sorry" for them. They do need to be punished for their deeds... but then they get stuck in prison and their bitterness and anger grows. Anyway, it is a sad situation all around. I wish I knew another answer for it. The only one I know is that it all falls on the parent or parents. I was a single mother and I am proud of the way I raised my son. So it IS do-able.

  4. Loretta, I read your column and then I read the comments that were left. I totally agree with your column. You have to earn respect to get respect, but most of all WE DO HAVE TO RESPECT OURSELVES! I had a teenager one time talk to me and tell me, "Well, I had a hard life at home. I wasn't treated fair. So its not my fault." I told her that some kids do have a hard life, and sometimes the parents don't treat them right, but once we become adults, we have a choice. We do not have to continue down the same path. I have seen kids strive for a better way of life when they finally reached an age that they had a choice. We can't use people or situations for a crutch or excuse. I've seen too many young people turn their lives around for the good, and I know it's possible. Parents are responsible for the way they raise their children, but there are parents out there who do their best and the child still chooses to not respect theirselves or others and they go the wrong way. I like the commercial that they showed a while back where the kids were on their computer, one playing a game, one typing, the dad was watching tv, in his own little world, and the mom looked around at all of them, went out and tripped the breaker and they all had to stop what they were doing. She hid the breaker, and they all ended up doing something together. We have no together time as a family anymore. Parents are guilty as well as kids. We need to not try to give our kids everything that "all the other kids have" as they say, but give them something better...US! Family time, talking to them, not always in a serious way, but have fun with them too. But we also need to be their parents...not their friends. They already have enough friends. I love my daughter! I have done my best with her, but it's not over. It never ends being a parent. We need to live a life before them that they don't only hear what we say, but they see who we are. Young people...if something's worth having, it's worth working for. That's just the way it. Respect yourself, respect others, and then and only then will you get respect from people. If you have to force it on someone, it's not truely respect.

  5. Loretta respect also begins at home in the family setting. Is the mother respected and by whom? And the father too. Unfortunately there are many more one parent homes. As you said respect must be earned and one must learn to respect themselves. How - by doing the things that you know are right.

    Great column Loretta. My children are grown and I am respected by my children. But I must also respect them and I do.

  6. Thanks for visiting my blog recently. Nice article. I have always tried to instill in my children a desire to respect and be respected. I agree that quite often lack of respect to others comes from not having respect for ourselves.

  7. Great advice at the end for the youngsters, Loretta. Hope more people heed to it. Lots of children nowadays just lack patience....Christine


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